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New Sleep Guidelines for Babies, Kids and Teens – 10 tips to help you get more sleep!

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The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has released new guidelines for how much sleep children should get.  The guidelines released today encompass recommendations the American Academy of Pediatrics has made at different times for different ages. And they’re based on a review of scientific evidence on sleep duration and health.

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  • Infants 4 to 12 months – 12 to 16 hours of sleep every 24 hours (including naps).
  • Children 1 to 2 years – 11 to 14 hours of sleep every 24 hours (including naps).
  • Children 3 to 5 years – 10 to 13 hours of sleep every 24 hours (including naps).
  • Children 6 to 12 years – 9 to 12 hours of sleep every 24 hours.
  • Teens 13 to 18 years – 8 to 10 hours of sleep every 24 hours.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine says adequate sleep is linked with improved attention, behavior, learning, mental and physical health at every stage of a child’s growth.

The National Sleep Foundation has found that over 85 percent of teens lack adequate sleep. Sleep matters: deprivation and tiredness affect schoolwork, attention, mood, interactions, unhealthy weight risk and lifelong health habits. Having undiagnosed OSA could be the underlying issue causing them to be loosing countless hours of sleep.

New sleep guidelines for babies, kids and teens

The AAP also recommends all screens be turned off at least 30 minutes before bedtime and suggests keeping televisions, computers, smartphones and other screens out of kids’ bedrooms. Light stimulates wakefulness.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine is also telling parents not to lose too much sleep over these new recommendations.

We should take into consideration that each of our families is different, different schedules. Each family needs to find what works best for their dynamic and overall function — there is not a one-size-fits-all solution to sleep. Even ‘a decent hour’ is defined differently in different families, cultures, and situations, there are also other drugs that help sleep. The overarching message is that we all need to better prioritize sleep health for our children, and that starts with prioritizing it for the entire family, by doing the best we can for our sleep as getting the best comforters with the information here so everyone sleep comfortable.

Here are 10 tips to help PARENTS get more sleep from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.

  • Keep a consistent sleep schedule. Get up at the same time every day, even on weekends or during vacations.
  • Set a bedtime that is early enough for you to get at least 7 hours of sleep.
  • Go to bed when you feel sleepy, even if it’s before your bedtime.
  • If you don’t fall asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed.
  • Establish relaxing bedtime rituals.
  • Make your bedroom quiet and relaxing. Keep the room at a comfortable, cool temperature.
  • Limit exposure to light in the evenings.
  • Don’t eat a large meal before bedtime. If you are hungry at night, eat a light, healthy snack.
  • If you still can’t get to sleep, you can try some ASMR on YouTube to sleep well.
  • Avoid consuming caffeine in the late afternoon or evening.
  • Avoid consuming alcohol before bedtime.

resources: sleepeducation.org, www.aasmnet.org

It’s OK to Be the Weird Mom

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Mommy judgement. Mommy guilt. These are constant topics in magazines and blogs aimed at mothers and they need to be. So many moms, myself included, need daily reminders that we are all doing ok and there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Baton Rouge Mom BlogOne of the hardest lessons for me to learn as a mom is the advice we have been told over and over since we were children ourselves – be yourself. It seems so simple, but it’s harder than many realize. Whether you’re a single mom, married mom, older mom, younger mom, working mom, stay at home mom, there is always some ideal we formulate that we never seem to attain. We are often convinced we are inadequate, a failure, clueless, different, weird. We are an embarrassment to little Johnny who is going to move across the country as soon as he graduates from high school, only call at Christmas, and write about how his mother screwed him up in his memoirs.

Some of the judgement we feel is completely fabricated in our own imagination. Sometimes it is all too real. But there are more important consequences of denying your own voice than condescending side eyes when you bring Walmart cupcakes to the bake sale. Not being authentic and true to yourself robs you of your joy and deprives your children of the gift of knowing who you really are.

Baton Rouge Moms BlogAs someone who has struggled with depression, I know there is no faster way down that path than by denying your own needs and desires. Once the perfect 2.5 kids and a dog life I always wanted fell apart, I was lost. I was torn apart with guilt for not being able to give my kids the perfect life. I stopped listening to my own voice and tried to live up to the expectations of others, sometimes real, sometimes imagined. I tried desperately to shove myself into a mold I didn’t fit in. I was an expert level player of the comparison game. My perfectionism paralyzed me with fear.

It’s OK to Be the Weird Mom

Then I woke up one day and wondered why I felt so empty and miserable. It has been a long journey, but my path back to happiness has centered around accepting my quirky, weird, wonderful, authentic self and learning to listen to my own voice. Once I committed to doing that, it is like a light turned on with my life, especially as a mother. I see it in my kids and it is a wonderful feeling knowing I am a better mom because I have embraced my own, authentic values.

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But perhaps the most important thing about giving our children the gift of authenticity is by doing so, we give our children permission to also be their true selves. Whether it’s embracing their own quirks, or the courage to pursue a talent, our kids will always shine brightest when they are true to themselves. As mothers we can help bring that light out into the world by being brave enough to do the same.

Forever Grateful – Gratitude Jar Tradition

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A few nights ago during one of our many “I don’t want to sleep in my bed, I wanna sleep in your bed” episodes, I had a very interesting but heartwarming conversation with my son, Landen. I was trying to read my bible and both kids were still up and it may have been somewhere in the 9:00 hour. I was tired, and it didn’t seem like the kids were. At all. I closed my bible and said “do you know where all the things we have come from”? His answer was “uh huh from God”! I think my heart fluttered and skipped like a million beats! I suddenly had a burst of energy.

I mean I was literally excited at that point. Why? Because we’ve all been there, right? We have those moments as moms where we feel like we’re getting this parenting thing all wrong. Moments when you feel a little bit of guilt because you hand your kid the iPad or turn on some cartoon so that you can have a few minutes of quiet time. But in that moment I felt like I was getting something right! Saying our prayers, saying grace, and talking about God is paying off. Our son is absorbing the things that we are teaching him about God. Those things are important to us. Those things are the ones that we want to get right.

Shortly after that, I started talking about all the things we have, and how important it is to thank God for those things. I asked him to name some things that he wanted to thank God for. Of course, in three year old fashion, he answered with things like “my trains, our tv, my iPad, food”,and so on. I just smiled. I was thankful for that moment. Before I knew it, our prayers were all said, and he was asleep. IN MY BED. But I didn’t mind.
I thought about how over the years as both kids grow, the things that they’re thankful for will change from toys to things like life, and peace of mind.

thankful jar

As mentioned in my previous post, I enjoy making memories with my family. I enjoy starting our own little traditions and planning things for us to do. With Fall being the Season of Thanks, I wanted to do something to start teaching our son how important it is to be thankful for everything, even small things. November 1st, we started our gratitude jar. Everyday, we each say something that we’re thankful for, write it down, and slip it into the jar. This will be our family tradition every year starting on November 1st through the end of the month. Each jar will be labeled by the year, and I can’t wait to compare what Landen and Ava (only 4 months currently) are thankful for at 2 and 5 to what they’re thankful for at 6 and 9, and years later as they’re older. This was one of the items on our bucket list that I’m happy to have checked off. We want them to understand how important it is to be grateful for everything, not just “things”, and to know that there’s always something to be thankful for. We want our kids to know that it’s important to be grateful for things like sunshine, for smiles, and love! And we can’t wait until they’re able to understand those concepts. I’m forever grateful for our little conversation that night!

THankful Jar

Create your own Gratitude Jar with these easy to use FREE printables from Tiny Me.
Or print our FREE printables: Gratitude Jar Covers & Gratitude Cards

Balancing Act

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Baton Rouge Moms - Doris Almost 8 and half years ago, I joined the legion of parents to kids who are differently-abled. While it may not be the legion I would’ve chosen for my 26 year old self, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else now. On this journey I’ve learned more than I ever could’ve imagined and am still learning daily. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned (and am still working on) is balance. How do I manage my son being a kid and his physical needs? His medical needs and his social needs? His academic needs and his appointments? Being a mom and a therapist and advocate? And above all I’ve had to learn to find myself again.

I feel like most days, I do well. Some days all I do is therapy and send email after email to get what my son needs and deserves. Over 8 years, I learned the ins and outs of what is worth fighting for and what is worth letting go.

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One of our recent adventures involved recasting our son’s recurring club feet. His diagnosis (Arthrogryposis Multiplex Cogenita) is not regressive, but as he grows, muscles tend to want to go back where they were at birth. We saw the doctor right before we left for vacation in Florida and decided we would wait to cast until we got back. No one wants to go to the beach in casts, we had the most amazing vacation this year, my husband and I decided to contact twiddy and we couldn’t have been more satisfied with our decision, our vacation was a total success. Balance: being a kid and medical needs. We casted for 2 weeks and when we took them off, his feet looked great, could we have gone another 2 weeks and gotten more…absolutely! However, we have another family trip planned and when we cast, we have to bend his knees (we had major surgery to straighten them out) and getting them back straight requires lots of stretching and is uncomfortable, so we decided to brace again. Plus, school starts soon. Balance: being a kid, educational and medical needs.

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I’m thankful for a team of doctors, therapist and a husband who fully supports my decisions. They see the value in balance.

You’ve Got Your Hands Full

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“You got your hands full, don’t you?” they say and chuckle. 
Sometimes I laugh with them but most times I am not amused. It’s the moment when the my boys who are 21 months apart, are flying, screaming, shooting bad guys, yelling or punching each other, arguing…the list goes on. They are 3 and 5. People ask me all the time if my kids are twins. Most of the time I say no, but on our bad days I say yes. It sure feels like it.
We make an entrance wherever we go. I mean for once, I would love to blend in with the crowd. Not stand out. Not get looks. Not have other people stop to make a comment. Not have to avoid eye contact with people. Just not get watched…ya know what I mean? 

Today we are headed to Disney. Happiest place on earth right? What they don’t tell you is the way there will be quite the opposite with children. I’ll spare you the details but imagine me by myself with a double stroller, 3 carry-ons and a backback and two wild boys. Lets just say you need a system rigged right in order to steer all that in one direction without losing a bag or a kid. A sight to see, I promise you. 

  
If I had a dollar for every time I hear “You got your hands full” since I had kids I would be rich. Or so I thought, until this trip. This trip would make me money people. 

So there I am looking disheveled, and telling my kids to stop shooting imaginary guns at people and telling them to stay with me in the airport and in comes the same comment I hear over and over. 

“You have your hands full.” 

I am not sure why, but this time it was different. A light bulb went off. I do. I do have my hands full. Most days I feel like I cant keep up, like all I do is break up fights and threaten punishment until they are eighteen. But what if….what if my hands were empty? 

What if they weren’t there. If I never had a chance to be a mom. Never had them. Or God forbid, I lost them. I could not bare it. My mama heart would ache so badly I am not sure how I would go on. They are my babies. They fill my hands with struggle but they fill my heart with meaning and love and are the best gift I have ever been given. It is only by God’s grace I have them because I do not deserve them. 

  
Most days I feel like I am not doing this motherhood thing right. My kids are a lot and take a lot out of me. Motherhood is a call to be selfless. Its hard! Its exhausting. But I am a mom! They are mine. I carried them and brought them into this world. That was hard work too. But once they placed those boys in my hands, they were full. I pray they always are.  

So the next time someone decides to remind me, my new reply will be: It sure beats having them empty, right? 

Because it does. They are my world.

When the Child Becomes the Teacher

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Before my daughter was born, I had a strong feeling that she would be quite the handful. She was almost constantly moving about. She was even a little bossy. When I’d lie on my right side, she seemed to have a fit, kicking and tumbling as if she was communicating her disapproval.

When she was born, it was confirmed. She was a handful. She definitely wasn’t the laid back baby her brother was.

I knew I’d have to learn and adapt.

We are also very different. Much like my soon-to-be 15-year-old son, I am more of the go-with-the-flow type.

My daughter is a strong-willed, energetic, free spirit. She isn’t afraid to voice her opinions about anything. She refuses to be put into a box. She longs to do things on her own terms. Consequently, there is never a dull moment between us.

mother and daughter lessonsIn first grade, she just decided that she had enough of school. She wanted to draw all day and refused to do her work. I started getting calls from her teacher almost daily. Although, she wanted nothing to do with schoolwork, when we’d do her homework together it was apparent that she was learning. She’d breeze through it and was ready to be on her way.

I made the decision to homeschool her.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into! It has been quite a challenge keeping her engaged.

Recently, I was listening to an audio when someone suggested that we get the children we need when we need them. That suggestion really got me to thinking.

My daughter recently turned 8. As I reflect on the time we’ve had together so far, I can see how she is a wonderful teacher.

I thought I was flexible and patient. Well, my little girl certainly puts those qualities to the test!

Nevertheless, there are so many things that I admire about her. She inspires me to live and speak my truth. We also have the best conversations!

I don’t think that it is a coincidence that she began to challenge me most at a time when I desired to make changes within myself and to step fully into who I am.

Often we learn the most when we are challenged.

When we become parents, we focus heavily on what we have to offer our children. But, our children can serve as wonderful teachers for us as well.

Are there times when I feel I could just get into my car and drive into the abyss? Yes! Gotta keep it real.

But, I also recognize the lessons and gifts that come along with being a mom.

What are some lessons you’ve learned from being a mom?

Good Ideas Gone Bad

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Have you ever noticed that when it comes to raising children, other people are always full of good ideas?

Grandma gently suggests that your toddler is too old to have a pacifier, and honestly, you agree. You gather all the pacifiers in the house and toss them, fighting the urge to dive into the garbage can to get them back. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!  You wring your hands with worry.

“Now we can see her sweet faces in pictures,” exclaims Grandma. “Those silly pacifiers were always in the way.” You nod in agreement. Yes, this was the right thing to do.

Several screechy days later, Grandma calls. She overhears her shrieking grandchild and asks in horror, “What IS that?!”

That’s your grand daughter. Unplugged. She’s pretty loud, huh? Yeah, I didn’t know she could make that noise, either.

You can replace the pacifier in this story with a hundred different things, like bringing three kids to the splash pad alone or going to “Cow Appreciation Day” at Chick-Fil-A at 5:00 p.m. All of these things sound like a good idea … unless you’re the person doing it. Have you ever tried to visit Baskin Robbins on a Saturday by yourself, outnumbered by children? Have you ever taken tiny kids to the beach? I think I left about half of my marbles in Gulf Shores last summer — I still haven’t recovered from that trip.

Baton Rouge Parents

I try to be a good mom. I want to be fun. I want my children to experience all of the wonderful parts of childhood, so I am always open to good ideas. It’s just that, when it boils down to it, most good ideas involve the loss of yet another vital chunk of my sanity.

I really need my sanity.

People tell me that as my kids get older, things will get easier, and I believe them. In the meantime, if you have a good idea … let’s table it for a few more years.

Running Through Jell-O

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Today after Zumba class, I acknowledged my repeated absences to my instructor, Erin. “I’ve got to get my life back on track,” I said, referring to the fact that everything got turned upside down during our recent move and I basically became unable to do anything except water and feed the people around me.

As she nodded in understanding, her friend standing next to her, Joanna, was shaking her head in an emphatic NO. When I laughed, Joanna said, “Just when you get your ducks in a row, someone comes along and takes one.” So don’t bother getting your life in order, is what I understood her to say. Because as soon as I do, something weird’s gonna happen.

 Word.

People talk a lot about the joys of being a mother. They talk about what you’re supposed to feed the kids and when. How to sleeptrain and what to do if the baby won’t sleep. There are time tables and milestone charts and schedules as far as the eye can see. There are hundreds of different kinds of car seats, sippy cups, and sleep sacks; not because any one of them is actually superior, but because most mothers are terrified of screwing up their children and will buy almost anything just to have peace of mind.

 There is such a vast overload of information out there about being a parent. It’s a virtual sea of knowledge. So, it puzzles me: why is it that none of my parenting resources address my problems? Like what to do when you find yourself home alone with three small children, one of whom has removed his diaper and is running through the house waving it overhead like a flag, slinging poop pellets right and left — and several people, including yourself, step in it before you realize what is happening?

Why is it that absolutely nowhere have I read that it is indeed possible to lock an infant in a running vehicle along with your phone and keys?

Has anyone ever addressed the topic of coping with the embarrassment of loading two children into the car before you turn around and see your third child helplessly rolling across the grocery store parking lot? Because that information really would have been helpful to me.

And while I admit that I was a pretty capable person when I just had one child, I didn’t really hear that much about what would happen when I had another … and another. You want to know why? Because no one with that many kids has the time or the brain power to add to the sea of parenting knowledge. And once they finally do have time, they have blocked out or forgotten what it was truly like when they were in the thick of things. I have to forgive them for that. I get it.

Recently after a particularly hard day, I told my girlfriends I don’t think I am equipped to be a mother. Is it really supposed to be THIS DIFFICULT? Surely not. People don’t talk about it feeling like a 24/7 attempt to run through Jell-O. But after some consideration I realized that yes, it probably is supposed to be this difficult, and I just need to accept that I can’t run as fast through Jell-O as I would like to. It’s slow moving, gelatinous fury over here. My thighs are burning and my clothes are wilty. But you know what keeps me going (other than my beautiful children who are at their best when they are silently, sweetly sleeping)?

Knowing that YOU are running right alongside me, struggling just as much in your own way.

Motherhood is seriously hard work. It’s sometimes mind-numbing and sometimes fun, but mostly, it’s just plain exhausting. But we all know it can be done, and done well. All we need is a little honesty and encouragement. And tequila.

Just kidding.

Not really.

 Running through jello

National Moms Night Out

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Baton Rouge Moms was founded with the sole purpose of supporting and encouraging mothers in the Baton Rouge area. Motherhood can be exhilarating, exhausting, rewarding – and sometimes lonely. Our goal is to give you, moms, the support you need to be the best moms you can be – and to encourage you to, in turn, give back to each other and to the community at large.  One of the ways we hope to achieve this is through our Moms Night Out events. There is nothing like the sisterhood of motherhood, and we can all use a Moms Night Out to relax, unwind and have a bit of fun with our girlfriends.

National Moms Night Out

National Moms Night Out

Join in on the fun, as we gear up for the ultimate celebration of motherhood – National Mom’s Nite Out.   As you know, Moms spend a lot of time making Mother’s Day special for all the Moms in their lives.  That’s why National Mom’s Nite Out was created by Maria Bailey, Host of Mom Talk™ Radio. National Mom’s Nite Out gives Moms a reason to take the night off and enjoy a fun evening out with fellow moms!  

Save the Date:

National Moms Night Out is being held May 8th and Baton Rouge Moms is joining moms across the country with our own local Moms Night Out event. We will share more details as they become available over the next few months but save the date and mark your calendar, May 8th is a Baton Rouge Moms Nite Out you will not want to miss! . Sign up for our newsletter and have Baton Rouge moms news and info delivered right to your inbox.

Moms Night Out the Movie

National Mom’s Nite Out has partnered with AFFIRM films ( a division of Sony Pictures) and Provident Films on the release of ‘Moms’ Night Out’. Moms Night Out is a laugh-out-loud portrayal of the chaos of parenting. With its PG rating this clean comedy will be a hit with families everywhere.  Moms’ Night Out is an endearing true-to-life family comedy that celebrates the beautiful mess called parenting. 

Moms-Night-Out-Movie

Here’s the synopsis of the film:

All Allyson and her friends want is a peaceful, grown-up evening of dinner and conversation . . . a long-needed moms’ night out. But in order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation and food not served in a bag, they need their husbands to watch the kids for three hours—what could go wrong? Moms’ Night Out is an endearing true-to-life family comedy that celebrates the beautiful mess called parenting. 

 

 

We are excited to see a movie like “Moms Night Out” coming to theaters. Please help us in supporting this family friendly comedy, let Hollywood know that we want to see more clean, family friendly movies in our theaters! Celebrate National Mom’s Nite Out™ with Baton Rouge Moms on May 8th and then take the family to see ‘Moms’ Night Out’ the movie on May 9th.

Moms Night Out the Movie

Ready or Not, Here She Comes!

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The past few months have been both a delight and a drain! Preparing for a new baby when you have 5 little ones already running around can really be fun, but also tiring at times. We are all excited about the new addition coming soon to a Dabney family near you.

She’s our first girl in over 6 years. After having three boys in a row, I’ll be honest and say it’s refreshing to have another girl in the family.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys.  There is definitely never a dull moment with them.  Sometimes,  though a dull moment or at least a quiet moment is what I secretly long for.  Nap time helps for sure, but getting them all to sleep at the same time is a feat we are still trying to accomplish.

 

Baby Girl's nursery

Baby Girl’s nursery

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